Hi friends,

Happy Saturday. I want to apologize for being MIA for a couple of weeks. It's been a busy month as I wrap up my spring semester of school.

Today, we're wrapping up Validation by Caroline Fleck.

For May, we'll be reading How to Do Nothing by Jenny Odell.

— Maneet

Important: Later this month, I'll be making some changes to how I send these weekly emails. Most notably, I'll be transitioning our book club to Substack. If you're unfamiliar with Substack, it's basically another email platform, but with a stronger emphasis on community and writing.

No action will be required on your part. I'll be migrating this entire email list and will also send some announcement messages when it happens. If all goes well, you'll keep hearing from me like normal. You might just need to check your "Promotions" or "Spam" folders the first time I email you from the new platform. Stay tuned!

Weekly Discussion

One of the hardest parts about being a husband (at least for me) has been learning how to be there for my wife when she's having a bad day.

Growing up, my family never really spoke about feelings. It would be easy enough to tell when somebody in the house was having a bad day, but we never actually acknowledged it. Instead of talking about the bad day and giving the person space to vent, I was taught to go immediately into fixing mode. Acts of service were huge. My parents would focus more on doing things instead of holding space. The concept of "holding space" never even existed in my head until adulthood.

After getting married, I quickly learned that my wife and I spoke different love languages.

Acts of service were still important, but they didn't have the same effect on my wife that they did for me. Quality time is her jam. And when she's having a stressful day, quality time becomes even more important. Unlike my own experience, her way of getting through a bad day is by talking about it together. I know it sounds a bit ridiculous, but this was a new skill for me. You want me to just...sit there?...and listen?...and not do anything about it??

This month, we've been reading Caroline Fleck's book, Validation.

The entire book teaches us how to listen in a way that makes the other person feel seen and understood.

To be transparent, I'm still not done with the book. It's been a busy month, and I intend to finish it on my own time in the weeks ahead. But there has been one technique that has really stuck with me so far. It's the one that feels like a magic mind-reading superpower when done correctly. Put simply, it's the ability to read between the lines.

One of the most basic active listening skills we're usually taught is to reflect back what we're hearing in our own words. Even though that does work, it isn't always enough. Reading between the lines takes this concept to the next level. Instead of just repeating what we're hearing, we try to truly understand what the person is telling us, and repeat back the deeper message they're actually trying to communicate.

It's the difference between reflecting back, "I'm hearing you're feeling really anxious and sad" versus, "I'm hearing you feel so alone in this moment."

Reading between the lines involves a certain degree of risk. There's always a chance you'll get it wrong and say something that doesn't resonate. When this happens, you'll need to have some thick skin. It can feel discouraging when you're just trying to help but don't seem to be getting anywhere. This is when you take a step back and work your way back up Caroline's validation ladder. But when it goes right, the results are profound. You'll end up feeling even more connected.

I'd love to hear from you. What would you rate this month's book? Was there any lesson that stood out in particular?

Weekly YouTube Video

🎬 This new Kindle hack is absolutely game-changing.​

I just posted a new video about a Kindle hack that honestly changed my mind. I’m talking about KOReader and the new SimpleUI plugin, why it makes the Kindle feel so much better to use, and the major downside that still makes this a more niche setup. If you’ve ever been curious about jailbreaking your Kindle, this one lays out the real pros and cons.

Three ways I can help you...

🎬 Check out my latest YouTube video. My channel is all about Book Tech and using technology to live an intentional life.

📖 Need something new to read? Check out all the books I've written and support my work along the way.

📚 Check out the Presently Reading book log. It is a complete list of every book we've read in the book club since I started it.